peter parker, expressing his affection as any teen would: thor i would die for you 🙂
thor, gripping his shoulders with the intensity of ten thousand burning suns: i would never let that happen
peter parker, later that week: i would die for you loki
loki, looking him dead in the eye: you will.
drax: [really bad joke]
peter parker: mr. drax? I would die for you
drax, with a pause spent determining that peter is probably joking and then a hearty guffaw: but my muscles and fighting power is several times your own! your death would be meaningless!
peter parker, in the middle of battle with no regard for his own safety: i would die for you
t’challa, who has lived with shuri long enough to know exactly what answer peter is looking for: then perish
Might I just point out that this is one of the only times in the movie when Peter is visibly angry. He cares so, so much about May. The slightest idea of anyone, even Ned, his best friend and the person he probably trusts the most, giving May more grief, and he immediately drew the line. And he still was able to be respectful about it afterward. He thanked Ned for holding his secret. He thanked him. He realized the burden. WHAT A KID. SERIOUSLY.
instead of bugle mcu peter parker sells his pictures to/works for buzzfeed. all his articles about spiderman are titled like ‘Insanely Cool And Relevant Spider-Man Helps Out At Local Soup Kitchen’ and ‘Awesomely Powerful And Suave Vigilante Spider-Man Just Stopped A Crime Ring From Stealing All Of Tony Stark’s Shit’ and ‘Beloved Sweetheart And Icon Spider-Man Saved An Old Lady So She Bought Him A Churro (Pics Will Make Your Heart MELT!!) and ‘Photographic Proof That Spider-Man Is A Thousand Times Cooler Than The Queens Police Department’, stuff along those lines. He also makes Which Avenger Are You quizzes, and one time he was mad at Tony so he made a poll asking if Spider-Man or Iron Man were cooler, but he rigged it so no matter what the actual voting outcome it would always say 0% voted for Iron Man.
‘Opinion: The Green Goblin Is A Loser And Spider-Man Could Easily End Him If He Wasn’t Such A Respectable And Peaceful Dude’
‘PROOF That Tony Stark Thinks Spider-Man Is The Greatest!!’ and it’s just a bunch of pictures that Peter completely staged and Tony clearly didn’t realize there was a camera on him. He’s smiling at the kid all proudly or whatever and Spider-Man is just fucking thumbs-uping into the camera lol
‘Devastatingly Smart And Funny Spider-Man Gets The Hulk To Calm Down With Only A Few Great Jokes!’
‘Um, Spider-Man Just Totally Saved The Entire City From A Genetically Modified Super Villain, And We’re Living For It.’
‘Okay- We Really Need To Start Appreciating Doctor Strange’ the picture featured in the article is Spider-Man trying to get Strange to fist bump and Strange looking annoyed
pictures of Spider-Man hanging around parades and protests and riots trying to make sure no one gets hurt
‘INCREDIBLE Spider-Man Webbed Up Falcon And The Winter Soldier Like It Was Nothing!’
‘Spider-Man Just Called Doc Ock A Little Bitch In The Middle Of A Fight, And It Was Iconic’
‘Friend To All! Spider-Man Saves An Adorable Cat From A Burning Building!’
‘Everyone’s Favorite Web-Slinger Just Gave A Lost Little Girl The COOLEST Ride Home!’
I can’t stop thinking about this lmao someone help me
The articles pick up some steam and start getting popular and he worries that people will suspect he’s Spider-Man because of how many pictures he gets and all the stuff he writes about himself
Instead, people start suspecting he’s got the worlds biggest crush on Spider-Man
Superhero Conspiracy Bloggers™ who also totally believe Peter has a crush on Spider-Man get wind that Peter is Tony’s intern.
Tony thinks this is a hilarious turn of events, and as revenge for the ‘No One Likes Iron Man’ poll, he tweets out that he’s been trying to set up Peter and Spidey for months now, but “they’re both so shy!”
The internet goes wild.
Michelle, completely aware of Peter’s identity, publishes her own article entitled: ’Spider-Man: PLEASE DATE MY BEST FRIEND’. It trends for three days and Ned has a copy of it printed out and framed.
Harry Osborn, completely unaware of the comedy in this situation, gets drunk and posts a whole angry rant on his snapchat about how Peter can do ‘SO much better’ than the vigilante wall crawler
The real crux of the matter happens when one single little Deep Web blogger mentions they’ve never seen Spidey and Peter in the same shot together. Oh no. So they have to think of a plan and fast.
Duh, just get someone who’s in the know to dress up as Spidey and go on a ‘date’ with Peter. Obvious.
This is when they call in Harley, and this is where the chaos begins.
oh boy i cant wait to watch all this unfold in the second movie
the1timetraveller 