Was watching CA: Civil War and was thinking about this a bit.
What did I do?”
This
guy wakes up soaking wet, with a headache and his arm in a vice and
has no idea how he got here. One guys that he dosen’t know is staring
at him with hostility and the other, his best friend is looking at him
apprehesively as if he’s a bomb that could off any second. He knows he
did something but dosen’t know what yet. It’s a confusing but all too
familiar feeling for him.
This man spent 2 years trying to put
himself back together and no do harm to others and now here he is, set
up for something he didn’t do, and then deliberatly set off to do more
harm. To load more bodies on his already burdened conscience. Used as a
pawn by someone getting vengeance for something he had nothing to do
with.
To me this like someone with a mental illness who managed
no incidents for years and suddenly something happens beyond your
control and everyone is giving you that look. Not that you blame them
really. But it hurts and its sad just the same. All that hard, painful
work for nothing really. Just more guilt and shame to add to all the
rest. More death and destruction at his hands.
He knows he will
be blamed him for this even though he no control over himself and that
not too many will have sympathy for him. They see him as this horrible ,
dangerous thing that he never wanted to be nor had a choice in being
turned into but that dosen’t matter. Whether he had control or not, he
did it and can’t undo it. And knows, like everyone else does that he’s a
couple of trigger words away from doing it again.
Bucky can’t
trust his own mind and that’s a painful, lonely place to be. The fear
and lack of control that many people who suffer with some sort of mental
illness deal with. And the lack of understanding that comes from
others sometimes.
He was the most innocent person in this movie and may have paid the highest price and that is what is sad to me.
the1timetraveller 