aspiringdoctors:

generalistherbalist:

tallteal:

micaxiii:

thelongestpuzzle:

pfdiva:

marzipanandminutiae:

the thing about millennials who don’t want kids is I feel like a lot of them are deeply On Board for their friends’ kids

like I’m among the minority of my friends in definitely for sure wanting kids someday

but each of my parenthood-eschewing friends has claimed a different role in my future offspring’s life and they seem very excited to play it

so we as a generation may have fewer children

but I feel like they’ll be the most supported and loved children imaginable

As a millennial who doesn’t want children, I am seconding this, because it’s not like we don’t want children to exist in the world!  We do!  Children can be lovely and amazing and they are literally our future!  It’s just So Very Difficult to raise children in our nuclear-family society, especially as a millennial, and you want to do the job RIGHT.

Well, if you can’t do the job right yourself, the least you can do is help a friend raise THEIR child right, help take the burden off their shoulders, and give that kid all the love and attention they can stand.

I’d be damned excited to do that, too.

this generation is so excited and ready to be weird uncle/aunt so-and-so

I hope this generation makes communal families a thing again and this time it won’t be treated like a “taboo hippie thing”

Takes a village to raise a kid

As the first person in my high school/college set of folks to have kids, I feel like this starts happening around 25+. Ain’t nobody helped with any of the kids and I live where I grew up. Now that some people are intentionally having/not having kids there’s quite a bit more support from the intentionally childless. And all of my medblrs have treated my kids like family.

So there’s that bit to it but there’s also quite a bit of intentionally unfriendly spaces in our culture that makes having children around difficult, and because there are so many places where children are not welcome and there is only community families where people are trying to have a community family, there’s this interesting set of adults who really want to be supportive but legit know nothing about kids. Like there’s grownups out there that don’t know how to rock a baby to sleep or change a diaper or have a conversation with a three year old about how their shoes are both black so that they definitely match even though they’re completely different shoes. And let me tell you, those are all learned skills.

The clinic space I have is designed to be child friendly for my adult folks. I have a baby carrier in the gyn room because adults with children still need paps and might not have childcare. All of my cabinets are magnet locked. I keep extra snacks, wipes, diapers, and sippy cups in the back. I have toys for a variety of ages of kid, because adults also chill and talk easier when they’re building legos.

All of these things I have because parents are my primary demographic and the best things I can do for my grownups is 1)allow them to access care when they need it. 2) act as part of the child raising community while their children are there. Yes, I wear children in the office and watch kids while a parent goes to the bathroom and chart with kids that aren’t patients on my lap.

You can’t just be neutral about “of course I would help” because every message parents get is that they are inconveniencing everyone by bringing their spawn to a place that is not specifically designated for children. Parents do not actually want to inflict other folks with their kids embarrassing shenanigans 99.9% of the time.

Everyone having kids needs help. I can hear echoes of “we all need help” but look y’all, I sleep 6 hours a night on a good night, am responsible for feeding, watering, bathing, clothing, and loving 3 other humans before I even have coffee in the morning, and I don’t know which one of them did it but someone exploded a stuffed animal that I’ve had since middle school all over the house. I have 20 charts to do, the kitchen to clean, breakfast to prep, and I’m going to be putting the kids to bed for at least 10 more minutes. I need help.

And we need our communities to know how to help- which i cant get and have stopped asking my intentionally childless hometown folks for, and to stop with the cultural shaming of mothers in particular and parenting in general, and end community rejection of children in public spaces.

This. It’s hard being a mom.