captain america’s favorite shame phrases

roachpatrol:

• i didn’t punch hitler in the face for this
• you guys are giving me grey hair
• this never happened in the forties (said with completely straight face)
• i just don’t think you’re living up to your true potential
• america wasn’t founded for this
• i know if you look inside yourself you’ll realize you’re a better person than you think you are
• that’s it, i’ll be in the freezer until further notice, wishing i was still dead
• in all my years of leading troops i have never seen such blatant disrespect (said with completely straight face)
• i’m not mad, i’m disappointed
• i’m probably going to outlive all of my friends, again. did you know that? i think about that all the time. at night. all by myself. and these are the memories you want to leave me with. 
• do you really think this kind of behavior is what our founding fathers expected future americans to engage in
• you know what we had in the old days? dignity. (said with completely straight face)
• ms potts, please book me a flight up north. i need to go lie down for another seventy years.